Rán; dry.

It’s true what they say about how delicious food tastes when you haven’t eaten in awhile, or how amazingly refreshing water tastes when you are cracked, parched, and sand blown, but they still managed to make water taste like butt on deployment.

We joked about their claims of the water having been triple filtered, “through birdshit covered limestone, probably.”

The best times of day were visits from the ice truck where there were a surprising number of people willing to help chain load some bags of ice off 5-tons. People you wouldn’t see lift a finger in garrison otherwise. knowhutahmsayin?

When drinking/washing/growing food water becomes an issue, bottled water is a safe (for the time being) source.

My top choices for flavoring additives to stock up on are as follows:

Mio is relatively new, the latest from Kraft, a little bottle with flavored water enhancer and while they had a small but decent array of choices to start, they’ve since included two new “Energy” flavors that have energy enhancing beard vitamins. No self respecting zombie crushing viking can go without their energy enhanced beard, it just isn’t done. Easily portable, and a great idea. I wish they’d had these while we were playing in the sandbox. Stock up on these and you’ll have a great morale booster, and trading/bartering leverage. Keep a look out for local generic versions to save money, and for more flavor options.

Gatorade has been a classic since 1965, I’ve had more lemon-lime post round of puking than I care to count, but still I diligently select that flavor to replenish lost electrolytes. They make the containers and sticks. So whether you have a shelter that you can store supplies in, or you are on foot traveling, you can always have gatorade.

Emergen-C  Introduced in 1978 by Alacer corporation (who was acquired by Pfizer), Emergen-C features 24 nutrients, an ass kicking of vitamin C, 7 B vitamins and things to help refuel and rehydrate, both crucial elements for surviving post vikingzombiepocalypse.


Good Gears

I’ve been combat life saver certified and am confident that I could introduce life saving fluids through your forehead if need be.

For runners and people with back/arch problems, I cannot recommend these shoes from Vibram more if you actually paid me to say words about it. I have chronic pain and issues which I am being seen for, but including these shoes as a part of my wear and routine has done more than all the chiropractory and pills.

They are toe shoes, like toe socks, with a pocket for each toe. Some people can’t even consider the sensation of things between toes, much less actually wear shoes like these, but if you can bear it it is worth the difference I feel when I wear them.

They engage muscles you don’t otherwise notice or use when in normal running shoes, and the result is better balance, posture, and agility.

I saw them the first time on a young gentleman in Oregon, he was practicing some stair jumping and other jump tricks in a pair of these shoes. My children and I marveled “OMFG THOSE SHEWS ARE AWESOME I TOTALLY WANT A PAIR.”

I started with a pair of KSO. They have a firmer sole, and protect well against little gravel and small rocks. It is the coolest sensation to walk down the street and feel my feet and toes flex and grip the uneven terrain.

A year later, I have added a fresh pair of KSO and a pair of BIKILA The BIKILA do not have a strap going around the back of your foot, the material is more like the shell of running shoe, and has a more textured rubber sole with stubby grippies. If more people used them, I believe we’d see more people who felt better overall and were able to move in more amazing ways than they thought.

For vikingzombiepocalypse that can only be a bonus. To protect you and your bumbling family, get yourself a set of these shoes to help decrease that failure to be graceful, and give you the edge you need to escape the unwashed masses.

atdt+++CARRIER LOST+++

So while you were busy touching urself at night and pwning noobs, Vikingzombiepocalypse has happened and you don’t know what the fuck to do. First thing’s first, log onto the innernetts and tweet about it.

Regardless of who wins the upcoming US Presidential campaign, we already know that in the coming years, we are pretty fbxrd.

The drought this year of our Emprah 2012, has meant an abysmal corn output. Now people may think, well I don’t fucking eat corn, so why do I care? I can do without it. Sure, we can all suffer without corn as a dietary staple, however what about corn meal, how many supplies and ingredients will that effect? Corn feeds many cows and other animals.

What do you think happens if they can’t cheaply feed cows? It doesn’t stop with just us because there’s limited corn, it has far reaching effects that can shape things for years to come. This is history, in the making.

Whoever is next in line needs to come up with some nutritional methods of feeding the public. Soylent green or something like it.

In the meantime I plan to make helpful and unhelpful suggestions for preparation, supplies and first aid to outlast the impending vikingzombiepocalypse.